Are You Actually of Age?

Now, excuse me while I rant for awhile in this post.

I've been a toy player for 13 years, half of my life. Granted, for the first few it was with house hold items, then on to a cheap vibrator from Spencers and so forth until I was 18 and able to saunter my ass into a sex shop and buy some not to bad shit. I lived with my 'rents until I was about 20 or so. So yes, that is about 4 years under their roof with a cock to pump myself with. Was I worried? Sure, at first. I had a waterbed and hid my vibrator between the mattress and frame for years. Whenever my mother sat on my bed, I had a terror or it turning on and being so fucking awkward. Then around 19 I got a real bed and stuffed it into the pillowcase or under the mattress. Sometimes, it was left tucked into my bedsheets or blankets when I got too lazy or fell asleep during masturbation.

Now, I live with guy. My door is almost always open due to cats. His, too. My collection of dildos is in a box next to my bed, which is currently so full I can't fully close it... And my bottles of lube are in a matching, smaller box. Granted, he isn't my parent so it doesn't really matter and he knows damn well what I've got in there. I've showed him most of them and sometimes, he likes to look since i always get new ones. Fuck, I had to tell the two guys helping me move last year to be careful as I lost my dildo in packing. Two weeks later, said friend laid on my couch, was wondering what was jabbing into his back, pulled it out and went 'Oh.' Was I embarrassed? Sure, but that isn't part of my story. That's just funny...

Back to parents. Over the summer, I stayed with them and had to keep three Bad Dragon cocks in my room. A medium Karabos, Medium Werewolf and small flared Chance. What would have happened if they went into my underwear drawer and found their 25 year old daughter with silicone dildos bigger than their fist? Likely been far to embarrassed to say a word to me. Why? Because it is my fucking underwear drawer. It isn't like I am hanging them from my ceiling in front of my windows to catch the glorious summer sunlight. They are my private things in my private places. If you are over 18 years old and living with your parents and are able to spend the cash for a Bad Dragon dildo and yet all you can do is piss yourself with worry over your parents hunting in your room (what are they looking for, anyway? If you are an adult, legally able to marry, join the army, own a credit card, buy a house or car or get tattooed, pierced or sign up for your own health care and insurance, what does it matter?)

Fuck, so many people are whining about parents potentially finding porn or doing the battle of Helm's Deep to search and sniff out any dildos, wank material or god knows what else. If your parents are so into turning into bloodhounds to see if their ADULT child is playing tug and tickle with him or herself, you have a shit ton more issues than destroying shit, losing sleep at night, or whining like a little bitch over something that... Guess what? THEY ALREADY KNOW.