Are You Actually of Age?

Now, excuse me while I rant for awhile in this post.

I've been a toy player for 13 years, half of my life. Granted, for the first few it was with house hold items, then on to a cheap vibrator from Spencers and so forth until I was 18 and able to saunter my ass into a sex shop and buy some not to bad shit. I lived with my 'rents until I was about 20 or so. So yes, that is about 4 years under their roof with a cock to pump myself with. Was I worried? Sure, at first. I had a waterbed and hid my vibrator between the mattress and frame for years. Whenever my mother sat on my bed, I had a terror or it turning on and being so fucking awkward. Then around 19 I got a real bed and stuffed it into the pillowcase or under the mattress. Sometimes, it was left tucked into my bedsheets or blankets when I got too lazy or fell asleep during masturbation.

Now, I live with guy. My door is almost always open due to cats. His, too. My collection of dildos is in a box next to my bed, which is currently so full I can't fully close it... And my bottles of lube are in a matching, smaller box. Granted, he isn't my parent so it doesn't really matter and he knows damn well what I've got in there. I've showed him most of them and sometimes, he likes to look since i always get new ones. Fuck, I had to tell the two guys helping me move last year to be careful as I lost my dildo in packing. Two weeks later, said friend laid on my couch, was wondering what was jabbing into his back, pulled it out and went 'Oh.' Was I embarrassed? Sure, but that isn't part of my story. That's just funny...

Back to parents. Over the summer, I stayed with them and had to keep three Bad Dragon cocks in my room. A medium Karabos, Medium Werewolf and small flared Chance. What would have happened if they went into my underwear drawer and found their 25 year old daughter with silicone dildos bigger than their fist? Likely been far to embarrassed to say a word to me. Why? Because it is my fucking underwear drawer. It isn't like I am hanging them from my ceiling in front of my windows to catch the glorious summer sunlight. They are my private things in my private places. If you are over 18 years old and living with your parents and are able to spend the cash for a Bad Dragon dildo and yet all you can do is piss yourself with worry over your parents hunting in your room (what are they looking for, anyway? If you are an adult, legally able to marry, join the army, own a credit card, buy a house or car or get tattooed, pierced or sign up for your own health care and insurance, what does it matter?)

Fuck, so many people are whining about parents potentially finding porn or doing the battle of Helm's Deep to search and sniff out any dildos, wank material or god knows what else. If your parents are so into turning into bloodhounds to see if their ADULT child is playing tug and tickle with him or herself, you have a shit ton more issues than destroying shit, losing sleep at night, or whining like a little bitch over something that... Guess what? THEY ALREADY KNOW.

ALL THE THINGS!

Tasks for tomorrow. I have them.

Walk to work. (4:45am-6am)
Work 6am-1pm
Walk home. 1pm-2:15pm
Pick up my Fusion at the Post office.

Then, the real tasks begin.

No, scratch that--Open my Fusion, fuck the Hell out of myself, take pictures of said Fusion. (Maybe not in that order?)

THEN the real tasks begin.

I need Microsoft Word. I think I may have an old copy of 2007 somewhere. Just got to figure out a torrent to DL it as I don't have a disk driver. I do have the product key, though. I think.

Pay some of my credit card off.

Clean up the shithole that is my apartment.

And, since I haven't had Word, I haven't done reviews in ages.

I need to review:

Fusion
Karabos
Anthro
Xeno
Gryphon
Maybe Seadragon. I dunno.

Also need to link reviews in my checklist and look through my wishlist for updates.

I think that is all.

If I do any of this... I will feel accomplished.

Just Want to Explode...

I'm angry.

I'm so angry I just want to cry.

Why? It isn't just one thing. If it was, I wouldn't mind. Hell, shit happens. I'm just...

1. Motivation, creativity, drive, money, self respect... All gone. I've got nothing. Not a sparkle of inspiration or desire to be inspired.

2. I feel completely ignored. I've been working with Returns on something for over a month now. The entire time I have spoke with them after finding their offer a bit unfair, they've acted like I am a huge bother. I'm a waste of their time and an idiot. Three weeks ago, they said to give them three business days to work remake it. I asked for an update the end of last week (It was the holiday weekend, yes, but they also have a 48 hours wait time. 48 hours business days. No reply yet.

3. I haven't had Microsoft Word since I got a new computer after mine was stolen. Open Office is supposed to be rad and free. It won't open on my computer. No writing, thus why I haven't updated my blog. Or wrote reviews. Or wrote ANYTHING.

4. My trip this Chistmas is cancelled due to my best friend flaking out.

5. My raise at work that I was supposed to get on 9/9 STILL hasn't gone through.

6. Sad.

7. I just feel like my luck is gone with Bad Dragon. Returns was pissy towards me. Won't get back to me. Also almost three weeks ago, they said they were remaking a toy of mine... And I've gotten no word on said toy since.

8. My mood is crumbling so hard lately that I can't get the motivation to work out, watch TV I like, masturbate, do ANYTHING I enjoy. I can't even get off my lazy ass and clean my apartment.

An Updated Piercing (With Backstory.)

Been too long since I posted here. So, I figured I'd offer an update that may turn a bit self loathing partway through.

I love metal in my body. I love little mods that make me feel better. I have nine tattoos (One is a cover up) and 27 piercings. Seven of which are not in my ears. (I have nine in each earlobe and each Tragus done.)

In Order of getting...

Left Eyebrow. (17)
Top of my Naval. (18)
Bottle of my Naval. (19)
Vertical Clit Hood (This is what the review is about.) (19)
Labret. (20ish?)
Right Nostril. (20 ish?)
Nape of my Neck. (22.)

The numbers are my ages, by the way.


So, I've had my Hood done for about 6-7 years now. I love it. It stung getting it done and I thought I was dying in the shower the next day because of a little clot coming lose and making me bleed all over the shower, but within a few nights, I was -Very Gently- masturbating again.

It was done with a little silver ring and has been ever since. I really want my outer labia done, one on each side and I've been itching for a new piercing for awhile now, but there's not much I need/want done. (Labia will be when I'm about 44 pounds lighter.) So I ordered a few new earrings (I have the first hole in each ear to a 0. Not going any bigger because after 0, it makes it unlikely that it will shrink back on its own.) I also ordered a short barbell for my hood. Sadly, they have not arrived yet, but I was out yesterday and stopped at a little jewelry place and picked up a tiny barbell with two balls, each one with a little stone. One is gold/orange and one is black.

I got home last night and used some pliers to get the ring out. My nails are french tipped and technically still medium length, but they kept pinching me, thus the pliers... Got it out and tried to get the barbell in. (I wish I would have taken a photo of the barbell, but I was too excited.

Forty five minutes. I should have gone to get it changed, not done it myself. I apparently do not know my body nearly as well as I thought. This lead into a bit of self loathing about the fact I find my vagina very ugly, and I never thought so before. Granted, I've always had longer inner lips, but this was... startling and depressing... And the fact my clit was not nearly as visible as I thought. Mind. Blown. Mix that with not being able to find the hole. (Though it did give me little tingles of pleasure when I poked it wrong. Heh.) I ended up using my naval ring to find the hole. Took it out (I was looking in a makeup mirror) and tried the short barbell, with no luck. Then I had issues finding the hole for the naval one again. Managed, then used my little gold lock pliers to grip the ball on the little barbell and managed to slip it in. It was not too hard to get the second ball on... And finally, it was all good.

I didn't masturbate last night. I was sore and depressed, but today I did.

It was very different stroking the curved barbell and my clit instead of settling one finger on either side of a ring. It was a good different, though. It made me feel more feminine, if that makes any sense. More like a naughty lady instead of what I typically think of myself.

I came pretty damn will on my fingers and Chance and still feel better than I did. I'm not sure if this is a forever change in my hood. (I also should have tried masturbating without any jewelry in as it has been over six years since I did, but maybe another time.

Very different feelings.

A pleasant experience, once I got the barbell in.

A Fat Girl, Cake and Diet Coke

This is just one of a few posts I'll likely make today. But I wanted to get this down and properly thought out. I've always been a big girl. My gradeschool best friend called me 'Godzilla' and the like... But when I hit Grade 12, I started to lose weight. After graduation, I got kind of obsessed with the gym. Every day before work, I went to the gym. I had a super strict diet and ended up getting to 148. It went up and down, like expected, but I was fitter. Still had curves, my broad build and tits and ass, but I was healthier. 


I moved to Canada 5 years ago, was in love and drank/ate crap without working out. I got big again.


About two years ago, I started working out again and... Nothing. I just kept getting bigger. I walk to work every day, which is a little over an hour, eat overall not too bad, run around at work and nothing. I have PCOS. It's just been shit. But today, I decided that I need to try harder. Going to buy a scale tonight to have constant ability of checking it (Which helped a lot last time.)


Anyway. I have a 75 pound goal to take me back to 150. Currently, I have a 'reward' for every 25 pounds, but I'm not sure if that is too spread out, moreso the lower it gets. I also don't have any ideas on what to do for myself when I lose the first 25.

Currently-225

Weight lost- 0

Below 200 goal reward-

175 Goal reward- Two outer labia piercings

150 Goal reward- FINAL, Ideal weight- Lockheed Tattoo up my left lower leg.

Wishing on a Star, and Reflections.

This is a random collection of thoughts on what I have had, currently have, and want from Bad Dragon.

Small Toys

David the Werewolf 8, suction cup-Have
David the Werewolf 5, suction cup-Sold
Virgil the Drippy Dragon 6-Sold
Seadragon 8(more like 5), suction cup-Have
Flared Chance the Stallion 8-Sold
Anthro Dragon 5-Have

Medium Toys

Chance the Stallion, Unflared, 5, Cumtube- Sold
David the Werewolf 5, cumtube, suctioncup-Traded
The Breeder 5(But really a 3), suction cup- Sold
Xar the Karabos 5, cumtube-Sold
Tailstretcher 8-Have
Crackers the Cockatrice 5-Have
Flared Chance the Stallion 5-Ordered 8/25
Anthro Dragon, Cored-Ordered on 9/5
Xenogon 8-Ordered 9/5
Gryphon 5-Ordered 9/5
Xar the Karabos 5/8-Ordered 9/9
David the Werewolf 5, Suction cup-Ordered 9/19

Large Toys

Winston's Tail 8-Ordered 8/26

Extra Large Toys

Xar the Karabos 3-Have


One size Toys

Fusion, 8-Sold
Dragon's Tongue 5-Have

Was hoping to find a picture with my Fusion and Medium Chance, but it may be on my old computer, as they were my first toys. C'est la vie.

Dolphin is next. Lots of girls swear by the fucker, so I'm going to hop onto the Dolphin train soon. Also trading the small Anthro and Tongue for either a new medium Seadragon, or a traded one plus hopefully a little extra cash... Sounds delicious to me. Got my Ridgeback's colours all planned, but he's going to be stupidly expensive do to being a Large, Split firmness, fade/split with an extra colour. -Cough.- Sounds fun to me, honestly.

Also, I have a Sebastian from EE, which was a big ol' disappointment. Smaller than expected. Short before the knot. Can't tie. Balls.

Ordered myself a Vixen inflatable, too, which sounds pretty damn good to me. Looking forward to it and worst case scenario, I sell it to buy a Magic, which is a little shorter. I love big things, though.

My Experience with my Anthro, uncensored.

Well, as I was enjoying the break between lunch and my coffee (I had off today), I got my package. I was as amused as I was with my Tongue. 8x8x8 boxes are huge compared to 6x6x6. Really, it was surprising.

I’m not too sure when, but I traded my Medium Werewolf with semi working suction cup (Never worked for me, but she got it to. Damn.) and cumtube in a 5 for a small Anthro Dragon, also in a 5. I swear, I thought the small Anthro was like the small Karabos or Seadragon, kind of sizeable. So a fellow Forumer offered the trade, I accepted. Do I regret this? Not because I no longer have my werewolf, but because I always, always know that I like 8s, moreso in smalls. 5 is too gooshie. No problem. It’ll be fun. I didn’t regret it in the slightest... then I had a long time to think about it. Shipping from Canada to the States and Vice Versa takes forever. It’s life.

While I do not dislike my darling Trader for this in the slightest, I was whiny: Either she was not at all excited, or just completely slipped her mind, or thought I wasn’t going to ship the Were... She forgot to ship the Anthro until she got the Werewolf. She was apologetic and that’s all well and good. I understand, but it gave me a long time to think about it.

To make matters worse... I know this is petty and rude and blah blah blah, but this is my blog and I can say this here. Ever have someone ruin something for you? How about someone you’re not fond of? So, out of nowhere, I get a PM on the forums all ‘omg lol you got that anthro? :D lol i didnt like it, she got it from me lol LOL LOL’ And when I showed confusion as she also got a Medium from the same trader I did, I mentioned this. To which she proceeded to act like I was a semi retarded dog. ‘o lol no :D she got it from me because i didnt like it LOL do u understand now?’... And add in more smiley faces, ‘Lols’ and lack of any coherent typing. I NEVER wanted to know she stuffed it into her cunt in the slightest. –Shiver.- No. I would have loved to sit in my bubble of ignorance and maybe get some pleasure out of a dildo made by a site I’m obsessed with (18 toys now, bitches.)

I sell off a lot of my toys, yes. I also have bought 14 (Plus 5 more not made yet) from the Dragons themselves and have gotten 4 trades/adoptions from Forumers. I want to try everything and sometimes they don’t work as well for me as I’d hope and instead of sitting them to rot like on the island of misfit toys, I sell them to people who will love them.  I do not sell/trade toys I have got gotten yet for other ones. I do not trade toys for ones I have already gotten, dislikes and want in the same exact size and firmness and additions as before. Hell, currently, I still have 7 toys by BD in my box. So I’m not going to feel bad about trading every so often, but I’ve also paid full price and waited for 14 thus far. In a month or two, it’ll be at 19.

Beyond my pointless rant... I did enjoy resting the Anthro on my mons, stroking it like it was my own cock. It was actually quite hot. But after a boiling bath, two scrubs and trying to horny myself up, I kind of stuck him in, pictured something I did not want...

And gave up.

I tried again. Mediocre at best.

Fuck people ruining my fantasies.  I need to shower now.

Shit God Damn.

                Well, I officially have no idea what I’m doing. I feel like an idiot. Sure, I’m sure I could have figured something out or the like, but I couldn’t. So I need to type words here in order to get some type of general idea on what this will look like.

                Here’s hoping it works.

                Nothing much to say for myself right at this very moment, which surely can’t be a good way to start something you’re supposed to be interested in.